TEA AND BEETROOT

by | 6 October, 2023

We – with our good health, they – with their ill-gotten gains.

1 I would greatly appreciate it if the Government could release a recording of the session during which our ministers compiled the list of food products whose VAT will be increased from 5 to 10 percent. It’d be really interesting to see how the auction unfolded and how they determined which foods are a luxury and which are foods you can’t live without. That is, as the Ministry of Finance put is, “foods that do not constitute basic human nutrition”.

Minister of Finance Fatmir Besimi saw they were running out of money in the budget. They’ve already stolen everything but still feel like there’s more to take, they’ve spent everything to secure jobs for their fellow party members and to cater to the needs of their business partners, and with the upcoming elections they’ll keep hiring people. There must be salaries for the administration. That’s the most important thing. Since, only the citizens who spend money go on strikes. The ones making money don’t go on strikes, leaving more to be taken from them. All of a sudden, they decided to retroactively collect money from last year’s profits of successful companies, which they called a solidarity tax to legitimise it, but even that wasn’t enough for them. That’s why, they came up with the idea to raise the VAT on food. But, wait a minute, which food? The luxury foods of course. And what’s exactly considered a luxury in the 21st century in a country with a market economy, a member state of NATO and a candidate for EU membership? So, they initiated a comprehensive debate with all involved parties.

They started the discussion with shark fins. Then they realised no one buys shark fins and started bidding. They continued with tuna, and by bidding they outdid themselves and got to various types of tea. What the hell is tea? After all, they didn’t exactly invent hot water. Can we live without ajvar? No. It’s a traditional food. But we sure can live without ljutenica. What’s in ljutenica? Hot peppers. It’s not a “traditional food” according to the definition of the Ministry of Finance. Write down that hot peppers are a luxury, 10 percent. Add sesame, farina, oatmeal, cereals, ice cream to the list… What about black pepper? You don’t put spices in every stew, do you? Let them eat bread and salt, the traditional way, like in the Macedonian folk tales. We froze the price of bread, didn’t we? Let them cook spaghetti. What an ungrateful people, as if it’s not enough that we’ll bring them into the EU by 2030, they’re not content with the basic bread, they want the gourmet sour cream. Cream cheese is acceptable, but if the cheese is full-fat, then it’s unhealthy – mark it down for a 10 percent VAT. We’ll also tax compotes with 10 percent. There’s too much sugar in them, we’ll have to treat them for diabetes, then every month they’ll ask the minister for glucose test strips, they’ll need injections, their lives will be consumed by stress. They’ll eat ice cream, too, they’ll get a sore throat, we’ll have to allocate money for all sorts of antibiotics.

Bidding on what’s a luxury, what’s a necessity, what’s healthy and what’s unhealthy, someone there said “beetroot”. Some kindergarten frustration came to the surface. And that’s how beetroot found its place on the list of luxury foods. Deputy Prime Minister Fatmir Bytyqi doesn’t know if beetroot ended up on the luxury list by mistake, but he said that the Government is open to suggestions, and can make revisions on foods that are considered a luxury.

To be honest, they said they were going to revise the 78-percent salary increase, but they still haven’t.

Regardless, Tuesday is around the corner. A new government session, a new set of food prices. It’s important for everyone to be satisfied with something. We – with our good health, they – with their ill-gotten gains.

2 The World Bank projected that by the end of this year, Macedonia’s economic growth will reach 1.8 percent, and the inflation will remain at 9.1 percent.

These are impressive figures for the government, which took steps to save themselves from prison and passed a law that saves the high-profile bandits from the previous government led by VMRO-DPMNE and DUI, and can be seen as visionaries for establishing solid legislation that will not only tolerate corruption in the future, but will also encourage it and even reward it.

Buy a beetroot, boil it without any seasoning, of course during off-peak electricity hours, and eat it as if it were a shark fin. And top it off with a luxury chamomile tea. Indulge in the experience.

3 The government discussed the increased number of bears that appeared on the territory of Mavrovo and Rostushe and, as it stated, it emphasised the need to “urgently, relocate all small and large rubbish dumps which are in the immediate vicinity of the populated areas or within the populated areas, which attract the bears.” In the press release from the session, it was stated that “the local self-government, in collaboration with the Public Institution National Park Mavrovo, in accordance with their competences, should take steps to resolve the issue, by promptly cleaning the rubbish (illegal landfills) from all populated areas, as well as local roads”.

So, we’re drowning in rubbish to the point where bears might actually eat us. You’re eating fried dough at Strazha, enjoying the natural surroundings of the parking lot covered in rubbish and a bear emerges from nowhere and eats you along with the fried dough, along with the 10 percent VAT on full-fat cheese, because neither the Municipality, nor the National Park Mavrovo clean the rubbish.

Only Stojanche Angelov from the Crisis Management Centre chases bears away.

Fortunately, winter is coming. Things are looking up for the Municipality of Mavrovo-Rostushe. Stojanche will keep chasing bears away a little longer, then they’ll retreat to their caves to hibernate, once they’ve slept enough, March will have arrived, but then we’ll be in the middle of an election campaign, no one will bother with the bears.

The problem is solved. In accordance with the competences and laws. Without bears, there’s no need to collect the rubbish.

4 It’s not particularly surprising that a radiologist was appointed as the commander of the police station at the Blace border crossing, and the police officer with a university degree who competed for that position wasn’t chosen because he was a vocal trade unionist.

The radiologist is appointed because of his area of expertise. At Blace he’ll scan passports and ID cards. Following the established personnel policy within the civil services, now they should put the police officer in charge of a department at the Clinic of Oncology and Radiology. Let him work on catching the thieves of cytostatics.

Translated by Nikola Gjelincheski