1 “I did this analysis myself,” said Prime Minister Hristijan Mickoski, presenting us with figures on the growth of salaries and pensions, which I honestly couldn’t understand because I’m no good at maths. But inspired by him, and even more inspired by the fact that in three weeks we’ll be celebrating 35 years as an independent country, I did a comparative analysis of my own. Where were we then and how far have we come?
Thirty-five years from 1991 to 2026 are like thirty-five years from 1945 to 1980.
Between 1945 and 1980, Macedonia, devastated by war, was fully electrified, illiteracy and terrible diseases such as malaria and tuberculosis were eradicated, almost every village got running water, institutions were established, a state archive, a university, a national theatre, an opera, museums and cultural centres, sports halls, stadiums, swimming pools, ski resorts, hotels, workers’ holiday resorts, campsites and children’s holiday camps… We even suffered a catastrophic earthquake that almost completely destroyed the capital, which was then rebuilt to the highest international standards of modern urban planning.
Between 1991 and 2026, a single hospital, the one in Shtip, has been under construction for 10 years. The “Boris Trajkovski” swimming pool in Skopje will take two years to renovate. Renovate, mind you, not build. Just like the Universal Hall in Skopje, which has been under renovation for 10 years. We have a state postal service, but it feels like we actually don’t. We have a state railway, but it feels like we actually don’t. Skopje has public transport, but it feels like it actually doesn’t. Buying 100 buses seems like a wonder of the world, as though we were buying a rocket to launch ourselves to Mars. We used to have a Trade Fair, now we don’t. Instead, we have a shopping centre, blocks of flats and impassable streets. One 52-kilometre road, the one from Kichevo to Ohrid, has been under construction for 14 years. The palm trees worth half a million euros have withered away. Every proper hotel in Ohrid and Struga was built before independence. What gets built nowadays are blocks of flats and makeshift hotels with semi-legal buildings and extensions, using the same utilities infrastructure we had before independence. All that remains of the gondola lift from Tetovo to the Popova Shapka ski resort are its pylons, a reminder of those first 35 years after the war. The new cable car on Vodno, from these new 35 years of independence, isn’t working, and no one knows whether it will ever work again because it hasn’t been serviced for 10 years. Not a single decent ski resort remains. Not a single children’s holiday camp. Not one student dormitory has been built, while the old ones, built before independence, are being reconstructed with EU money. We’re waiting for the EU and Turkey to give us vaccines against sheeppox. The “Skopje 2014” project, worth 700 million euros, is falling apart barely a decade after it was built. Even the flagpoles flying the national flags topple over when the wind gets a bit stronger.
This comparative analysis doesn’t include Chebren and Galishte, or the railway to Bulgaria. I was busy counting the fallen trees all over Skopje, which still haven’t been cleared away a full month after the summer storm.
In the first 35 years after the war, the villages emptied, the cities filled up.
In the last 35 years, both the villages and the cities have been emptying.
2 Some girls had been climbing onto the submerged church in Lake Mavrovo and, just imagine, jumping from the church into the water. And, just imagine, they were swimming in nothing but their underwear… A scandal of unprecedented proportions. The blocks of flats that have sprung up throughout the National Park aren’t a problem, the illegal buildings and the road dating back to Tito’s time that’s collapsing aren’t a problem, the fact that we’ve been left without a ski resort isn’t a problem, nor are the illegal dumps full of rubbish and construction waste. But girls in thongs jumping from the ruins of a destroyed church – now that’s a problem.
And it’s not just Mavrovo. Apparently, there were lots of tourists at the Monastery of St Naum in Ohrid who, just imagine, were giggling and enjoying themselves. And, as the media reported, locals say it’s impossible to find a solution to control the tourists’ behaviour. We’re lucky UNESCO has given Ohrid another five years before placing it on the List of World Heritage in Danger. Along with the illegal buildings, with a bit of luck Ohrid might manage to rid itself of those giggling tourists too.
We already can’t seem to enjoy those mathematically precise 300-and-something per cent increases in salaries and pensions because we’re constantly thinking about Zoran Zaev’s yacht and Venko Filipche’s bare belly, but now it’s even worse with our peace disturbed by the thongs of girls having fun in Mavrovo and Ohrid.
Oh, what a wretched life. We’ve emptied our swimming pools, just as Minister of Health Sasho Klekovski told us to, so the mosquitoes don’t eat us alive and we end up dying of West Nile fever. If only we could keep a cool head and rejoice at the historic progress the Government is making in all fields. From building extensions to kindergartens and opening roundabouts, all the way to the historic success of cleaning shit out of a water supply system.
3 Prime Minister Mickoski declared the cleaning of Gostivar’s water supply within a month a Government achievement, after people had been drinking shit-water for 22 days and over 5,000 people fell ill.
The contamination of Gostivar’s water supply wasn’t caused by a natural disaster. Nor was it a major breakdown. It was caused by human stupidity and the incompetence of the heads of a public enterprise who found themselves in those positions only because they were party members.
4 And while we’re on the subject of the achievements of party-appointed staff, let’s also note the State Audit Office’s report on the “Pelagonija” student dormitory in Skopje. As usual, it found a series of irregularities, including that the dormitory had been paying 126 denars for a loaf of bread and had bought mattresses larger than the beds.
And then people wonder why there was no money for student meals. Of course there was no money. How could there be any state money for students when there has to be enough for both the party and the crooks affiliated with the party?
Fine, they stole, that’s nothing new. Fine, they distributed management posts within the coalition using the tool for equitable ethnic representation, that too is nothing new. But they could’ve at least found someone capable of measuring a bed. Are the muppets really the only ones left in the parties?
Translated by Nikola Gjelincheski
