1 There was once a woman who, every day on her way to work, passed the window of a boutique where a beautiful coat was displayed. On her way there and back, she’d stop and look at the coat, and one day she decided to go in and try it on. A beautiful coat, it fitted like a glove. But it was expensive. She thought to herself, this coat is far too expensive, I need so many other things, I shouldn’t waste money. The next day, she saw the coat again. She went it and tried it once more. It’s only a coat, it’s expensive, but it’s made of ermine, royal robes are made of that fur. That’s why it expensive. She went home, but she tossed and turned all night, she couldn’t get the coat out of her mind. The third day, the same story. Truth be told, it suited her perfectly. The woman grew completely restless, almost ill with anxiety. Eventually she said to herself: “Well, miss, if your health is at stake, you can’t die now, buy the coat, live a little”.
Well then, Prime Minister Mickoski, if health is at stake, buy the plane already. And don’t burden us with collective guilt by warning that “you might crash, you might die”. The people voted for you, you haven’t been in opposition for quite some time, it’s high time you took responsibility for at least one of your decisions. The Government holds an absolute majority, both on the state and the municipal level, the opposition is completely disoriented, and no one even bothers listening to what it has to say, while the leader, Hristijan Mickoski, refuses to take responsibility for anything, constantly shifting the blame onto others.
As if we’re not already traumatised enough by the fact that one of our presidents died in a plane crash, now the Prime Minister feels compelled to tell us catastrophic stories. By the way, the entire conversation about the plane being 20 years old is pointless. Pilots will tell you there is no such thing as an old plane if it’s flown regularly and properly maintained. However, if expert assessments show that the state needs a new official aircraft, then let them put the item in the Budget and bring the matter to a close. They do realise, of course, that a new plane will also generate costs and require regular maintenance, don’t they?
2 Everyone seems to have an opinion on whether the state should buy a new plane, so President Gordana Siljanovska-Davkova has now joined the public debate in her capacity as Supreme Commander of the Army and Air Force. Admittedly, her current opinion differs from the one she held in 2019, when she asked: “Why do we need a new plane?”, criticising the then Government of Zoran Zaev because “our problems are on the ground, not in the sky”. Back then, she wasn’t attending meetings with regional presidents who referred to the government’s 2024 “Learjet” as “the Wright brothers’ plane”.
We were under the impression that when the President meets her counterparts from the region, they exchange creative ideas on how to overcome the Bulgarian veto so that we could start the EU accession talks. Instead of practising creative diplomacy at such gatherings, they’re comparing the size of their planes. It turns out ours is the smallest.
3 The Council of Public Prosecutors absolved itself of responsibility and endorsed four candidates for State Prosecutor, apparently unable to decide which one it should propose to the Government. The members of the Council made sure to keep their hands clean, so that no one from the Government would get mad at them, in case they accidentally fail to award the highest score to the one who is meant to be appointed. Better safe than sorry. This way, the Government can choose whoever it pleases.
With such a procedure, it’s hardly surprising that the Government is unlikely to select the former Special Prosecutor Lenche Ristoska, who’s currently representing the prosecution in two ongoing court cases against the ruling VMRO-DPMNE. Why did Prime Minister Mickoski feel the need to boast on television that he was excluding her from the race even before the proposal had reached the government? So that he could reassure VMRO officials that they have nothing to fear, there’ll be no one to prosecute them. That way, the party’s assets remain safe as well.
4 After the historic 72 hours of washing the streets and collecting rubbish from the bins, the capital was treated to a solemn report at the Philharmonic marking the historic 100 days of Mayor Orce Gjorgjievski’s term.
It’s unusual because reports are normally delivered to citizens, not to ministers, MPs and party loyalists sent by VMRO-DPMNE headquarters, but one might think Orce is new to the role, he’s very happy, so he’s throwing a celebration for his friends. But why on Earth did he choose to open the event on such a mournful note with “how many centuries have you been in darkness, how much suffering have you carried on your shoulders, my dear country?”
How many centuries of darkness? We endured four years under their Danela, the best manager, wife, mother, queen… Four years felt like a century because of how much they destroyed the city. And now they’ve returned to rescue us from themselves and serenade us while they’re at it.
5 In a television interview, Mickoski said he had been unable to reach a consensus with the president of SDSM on unblocking negotiations with the EU, as Venko Filipche would amend the Constitution first thing tomorrow.
“But the soft tissue that can be found in the Macedonian identity is called SDSM,” Mickoski said.
Filipche didn’t respond because he probably took Mickoski’s remark as a compliment. He’s a doctor and knows that soft tissue comprises the organs, while hard tissue forms the bones. Bones exist to protect the organs. Bones break and heal. One can live without a leg. However, without soft tissue – the heart, the brain, the lungs – there is no life.
The Prime Minister’s PR team probably didn’t fact-check the metaphor while prompting ChatGPT to prepare his arguments for the TV interview.
Translated by Nikola Gjelincheski
